Unconnected

Another entry in my leadership series. If I had to sum it up in a single quote, it’s this: "The best don't play games. Period."

This book doesn't teach manipulative tactics, nor is it strictly about negotiation techniques in the traditional sense. While both have their place, a reliable, long-term relationship cannot be built on tricks.

In my edition, there is a bonus chapter where the authors share their reflections and readers' feedback a decade after the original publication. What surprised me was that many readers hadn't even finished the book; they had simply scanned it or read a few chapters, yet still insisted it helped them tremendously.

Well, I read it from cover to cover. And I can confirm: it works. Interestingly, I found the greatest value wasn't in the professional world - the business environment is safe and predictable most of the time. Instead, the real breakthrough came in my role as the father of a testosterone-fuelled teenager. The advice has already helped me pivot several imminent scandals into creative discussions and productive actions.

The conclusion is clear: this is a must-read. And let me finish with another quote: The title of the book is “Crucial Conversations”; “conversations” is plural, meaning many, not one.

Recently, I was shocked to find I could no longer solve a quadratic equation. I was actually very good at maths in school; back then, I would have said it was impossible to forget. But the fact is, I simply don’t remember how to do it.

Any knowledge without practice fades and eventually dies. You are lucky if you one day realise it’s gone; the worse scenario is never realising at all.

When it comes to self-improvement, practice is far more critical than in the natural sciences. At its core, any technique is about changing habits: removing the bad and fostering the good. From my perspective, the former is the hardest; a habit isn't just an action, it’s part of your self-expression, essentially, a part of your nature.

As I read "What Got You Here...", I identified that I possess 10 of the 20 behavioural flaws. Not too bad, actually, only two are part of my hard-to-change firmware, while I only commit the others once in a while.

From the day one, I started eliminating the infrequent ones (again the Pareto principle). They are easier to fix, and removing them buys me the time to address my major issues. And you know what? It works. I’ve noticed that conversations go smoother, agreements are reached faster, and I’m no longer exhausted after a full day of talking and negotiating.

My initial recommendation stands: this book is a must-read. The best part - the only person I have to fix is myself. I don’t need to spend hours convincing anyone else that black is black and white is white.

In a world of agentic workflows and AI-augmented assistants, I might sound obsolete. Nevertheless, I have to shout it out loud: LEARN TO USE BLOODY EMAIL!

You might find it old-fashioned, inconvenient, or hard to track. But it remains the most reliable form of communication. Did you ever hear of FidoNet? I’m old enough to have been a user; email existed then, and it exists now: from old-hatted enterprise systems to fancy Meshtastic nodes. I truly believe that when we eventually reach the stars, email will still be there.

It isn't the fastest, and it certainly isn't the poshest, but it is the most reliable. Just as it has always been.

Let me share some rules that will give you an advantage over the average. Your communication will become clearer, your colleagues will start to appreciate you, and your goals will be achieved faster.

Let’s start with a brand-new email chain:

• Don't touch the "To" box before the message is ready. Start with the body. This simple habit prevents you from accidentally sending an unfinished draft.
• Check your references. Once you have finished writing, read it back. If you have referred to a file, attach it (or a link to it) now.
• Create a specific subject line. It must reflect the core idea of the email so it can be easily searched later. A "Monthly Report" should include the month and year; a contract discussion should include the names of the parties involved; a performance review should include the name and the job title.
• Once you are happy with the text and subject, move to the "To" field. This is for the primary receiver - the person who needs to take action. Ideally, this is just one person. If you have more than three, stop and reconsider.
• Put people who need to stay informed into the CC box. If you want to notify someone that a process has started without requiring them to follow the entire thread, use BCC.
• Now you click send.

Do you feel how the universe and I personally appreciate your effort? You’re doing great! Practise this for a while, and I will be back with the next bit of advice shortly.

"Crowdfunded" by Mark Pecota might seem like merely a collection of recipes for launching a campaign on Kickstarter or similar platforms. However, it is still good even without the technological hacks that become outdated overnight. Nor is it about securing funds before you even have a product.

The real meat of the book lies on building value and trust, fostering deep relationships, and moving away from annoying tactics in favor of respecting the customer. It helps you create a solid attraction strategy without relying on deceptive clickbait (though a little is still required) or dishonest marketing.

Today, anyone with a shred of decency is writing about AI. I can't resist the temptation either, so here I am writing about the AI-DLC.

An AI-Driven Development Lifecycle isn’t just another agentic IDE or a new does-it-all bot; it is a methodology where AI plays the primary role in the process. Will it be a salvation or a silver bullet? Obviously not, no SDLC approach or tool ever is. However, if used correctly, and without the belief that technology alone can fix a lame process, it has a true chance to boost productivity and become a default standard like Scrum.

(The image is AI-generated; the text is not)

Marshall Goldsmith's "What Got You Here Won't Get You There" is a must-read for anyone working in a team, which, in core, is all of us. While the primary focus is professional, the ideas are valuable and applicable for improving personal relationships with friends and family.

The book helps identify the specific behavioral flaws that hold you back and provides practical recipes for self-improvement. While not every piece of advice applies to your current situation, it is still a treasure for anyone eager to become more successful, wealthier, and simply happier.